Why the Church Needs Apologetics Part 3: How to Share Your Faith Without Starting an Argument

Part 3 of a three-part series on apologetics by guest author Reid S. Monaghan.

Years ago, I was asked to train a church in Manhattan on how to better engage their world evangelistically. I remember praying in my office about the principles I was trying to live and pass on to others. As I wrote the topics down my notepad, I hoped they would form a memorable acronym, something like SHARE (Super Helpful Awesome Realities for Evangelism).

It was nothing of the sort. The acronym seemed disappointing and a bit meaningless: ASSLDAR.

Then I said it aloud and thought, this is kind of awesome. It sounds like one of the realms of Tolkien’s Middle-earth, or one of the worlds near Asgard. If Rivendell could be the realm of the elves, where good flourished and evil could be thwarted, maybe ASSLDAR could be a helpful place to learn how to practically engage others with the gospel. I will let you be the judge. Come with me into the halls of ASSLDAR:

• Among: live among people
• Share your lives
• Share the gospel
• Listen well
• Disrupt idolatry
• Answer: give good answers
• Repeat and stay connected

1. Live Among People

To thoughtfully engage people in culture, we must live among them. We cannot keep our lives away from people who are far from the Lord and unlikely to set foot in a worship gathering on their own initiative. We must not become like the world, but we must like people in the world enough to really know them. Love compels us to be witnesses, and to be witnesses for Jesus we must live up close with people.

Jesus did not stay far away from the humanity he came to redeem. He became one of us. Living among the lost takes humility and love, and that is exactly what we see in our Lord (Philippians 2:1–11). The apostle Paul said he became all things to all people for the sake of the gospel (1 Corinthians 9:19–23). He related to people with a gospel end in mind.

As leaders, we must learn to overlap parts of our lives with people outside the church. Think through ways your people can connect with others in your community. Have them brainstorm practical connection points they can make, as individuals or together.

2. Share Your Lives

Living among our friends in our communities allows us to share real life with them. We can share meals, share rides to our kids’ sporting events, share civic and educational experiences, and enjoy cultural festivals together. There are things Christians and non-Christians can share that make room for real life, real talk, and real knowledge of one another.

People need to know our way of life, our faith, our families, and our gospel community. I like to think of the word overlap here. Where does your gospel community overlap with the lives of non-Christians? What hobbies could be shared? What activities or service projects could you do together to overlap your lives with those who need to hear the gospel?

3. Share the Gospel

We are not called only to hang out with people. We must also share the biblical gospel of Jesus Christ: God’s creation of the world and of human beings, the fallenness and sinfulness of people, God’s gracious covenant promises to redeem a people for himself, his sending of Jesus to die on a cross as a substitute for sin, his resurrection for our justification, and the coming Kingdom and redemption of all things.

We simply cannot live faithfully without sharing the gospel with the people we live among. Share your life, but always share the gospel, for it alone is “the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16).

There are many ways to share the gospel and many good training tools. I created something I call the Gospel Diamond to help me see the story of Scripture and the subjects I want to discuss with people. I want to find my way to gospel ground and then go to Jesus. The graphic below, and the free Gospel Diamond guide that goes with it, may help you lead your conversations into spiritual territory.

If we pause for a moment, we will see that this is the sort of life the apostolic church was about. Listen to Paul describe his ministry among the Thessalonians, and hear him living among the people, sharing his life, and sharing the good news:

“So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.”

1 Thessalonians 2:8

4. Listen Well

Many people who get geeked about apologetics learn a few philosophical or historical arguments and then go out to “defeat the atheists” on campus or online. But our goal is not to win social media skirmishes. It is to care for others and share good news.

1 Peter 3:15, the apologetics verse we looked at in Part 1, tells us to give a reason for the hope that we have, and it ends by telling us how: with gentleness and respect. To do that well, we must listen. Two questions sit in my heart as I listen to people:

• What makes this person tick? Knowing what someone treasures shows what they currently worship.
• What ticks them off? Knowing what makes them angry tells you they know something is wrong with the world.

An artful witness listens to a friend’s actual beliefs, longings, desires, objects of worship (idols), and questions before pulling out a ten-point outline. Listen to your friend, and then listen to the Spirit as he guides you toward gospel ground.

5. Disrupt Idolatry

Not everything people believe is true. Often, even what they believe about the gospel or the Christian faith is mistaken. There is a lot of fog out there about faith, and part of our role is to help make things clear. At times a person may hold beliefs, or have issues with “Christianity,” that we need to disrupt so they can look to the cross of Jesus Christ and decide whether to believe.

Sometimes this means disrupting cherished assumptions or the things a person trusts most. Few people will say they worship money, possessions, status, power, or a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yet often that is precisely the case. Most people are not looking to change their allegiance to a god. So we ask good questions that help them see these things are not a solid foundation for the soul or worthy of their deepest allegiance. Idols will let people down. Remember, this must be done carefully, with gentleness and respect.

The sociologist Peter Berger wrote about “plausibility structures,” the sets of beliefs and assumptions that make certain ideas more or less believable to a person or culture. If a friend only believes in what she can see, belief in God and demons may not even seem plausible. In that case, we help her see that what we are sharing is at least possible.

Please remember: the gospel is the power of God for salvation, not our disruption of our friends’ worldviews. Yet as we share the gospel, we may find that a friend needs help removing certain barriers, and taking down that stronghold may be a means God uses to help them truly hear the good news.

6. Give Good Answers

Wait, where are the apologetics, the giving of reasons and answering of questions and objections? Here: answer. But notice where we start. We start with the Great Commission: the body of Christ living among people, sharing life, and sharing the gospel. We listen well and help pull down strongholds so Jesus can come into view. Then, yes, we answer people’s specific questions and objections.

If they struggle with miracles or the resurrection, there are wonderful philosophical and historical arguments we can share. If they have read a novel like The Da Vinci Code and picked up some pseudo-historical ideas, we can respond. If they think scholars have discredited the biblical narrative, we can offer a strong case for the trustworthiness of Scripture. If they think some cultural issue makes Christianity implausible, we can address it with them. We simply do not want to start with answers instead of with real people and their actual questions. When they have real questions, we give a good account of what we believe and why.

7. Repeat and Stay Connected

Finally, our witness is not complete without the word repeat. We must live among the lost people of our world over time. We do not have to throw our pearls before pigs or keep taking abuse from people who disdain the Lord and his gospel. But we are called to love our neighbors, even our enemies, and travel with them through the journey of life.

We have found that many gospel conversations, over time, bear fruit. People will watch our lives, our families, and our churches with some interest. And you know what? They may ask us for a reason for the hope that we have. When they do, we want to be ready with a wise, seasoned gospel witness!

---

Our hope is that some basic training in apologetics will help you and your people reach your post-Christian neighbors in our time. If The Gospel Underground can help you with this, please reach out any time.

This is the final part of a three-part series. If you missed them, start with Part 1 on what apologetics is and why it matters, and Part 2 on thoughtfully engaging people in culture.